KEVIN: No really, it’s not lupus

A 23 y.o male patient visits you for his annual checkup. He reports no emergent symptoms and feels generally “fine.” However, you notice a stiffness in the way that he walks, as if his thighs were sore. On thoracic examination, you observe several red welts, with no apparent pattern, about the size of a half dollar that circumscribe an unraised area. The lesions are tender to the touch.

What is your next action?
A. Assess the patient for erythema multiforme
B. Berate yourself for not getting a more complete history
C. Congratulate the patient for an evening well spent, the sly devil
D. Tell the patient to stop being terrible at paintball

Most “professional” caregivers will answer B, and I’m pretty sure answer C will get you into trouble. But since it’s my question, the answer is D. And yes, I’m referring to myself. A group of us med students visited Paintball Atlanta last Saturday on a lark. I almost did not attend, but had fond memories of my previous paintballing experience in high school. Nothing can quite replicate the sharp welts and sore thighs that accompany the sport.

All in all, we had fun and we got to relieve some studying-related tension. We ended up on different teams, but since all the real players had their own paintball markers and camouflage gear, we managed to drag our respective teams down, such that the playing field was level. And, despite my own general paintball inadequacy, I’ll claim that I didn’t make it out the worst. Here are some of my favorite lesions from the day:

This bearded fellow had some suspicious new marks:

This leg is not mine:

We kept track of which round it was based on how many times Lynn had been shot in the head and neck:

And a picture of the group posing in front of a nice car and a Waffle House: