SWAISHA: It’s Like this Alternate Universe…

I don’t know the day it happened. I have no idea when it was that I crossed over.

In the first week of school, during orientation, the faculty made it a grand point to notify us that we would no longer be laypeople. They made sure we were informed that this process that they call medical school would change us forever, and we would never again be the people we were before that day. When you hear that, you believe it. I mean, that’s the point, right? We want to be doctors, and that is a huge deal. Of course we won’t be the same. We believed it, and we were all very excited. What we did not know was exactly how or when this change would take place. So here we were happily (or not) living our lives, attending new classes, learning new things. We met new people, made new friends. We did some partying, did some studying, took some tests (okay, many tests). Then finally, there was a break. Thanksgiving break! We were so happy, so excited, and so burned out. Thank GOD for holidays, and bless Emory for giving us the whole week off! Yay!

Thanksgiving break! “What a good time to catch up with friends and family!” is what you are thinking. That’s exactly what we were thinking too, and it is a really good time for that. But, what we didn’t know was that we were no longer a part of their world. Don’t get me wrong; we are still very important to our families and old friends, and we still love them and they us. We are certainly still a part of their lives. What I am talking about is that world that we were so very familiar with, it seemed as if someone had plucked us out of it and dropped us into a different one without us noticing. Okay, fine, it could be just me. See, there’s this world where my family and friends have what is sometimes referred to as “leisure” time. They make plans for this time, and they do stuff during these times…sometimes together even. There are TV shows that they watch every week at the same time. They can even predict the next time they will have this “leisure” time. Thinking back on it, I used to know this “leisure” time. There was a time where everything on my calendar wasn’t tentative based on how difficult lecture was on any given day, or how many hours I may need to catch up on my studies, or how much fat and fascia were between me and a major nerve, artery or vein. There was a time when my day would end simply because it was the end of the day, and not because my brain refused any new information. It all felt very familiar.

So there I was, amidst my family and friends and their TV shows and their leisure time…feeling like I had been abducted by aliens for a few months then returned to Earth. I mean, all the things that had been going on, it felt like maybe I had read about them somewhere but I was definitely not around to see them for myself. And it all happened so quickly. It had happened. I had changed! I was so different! My priorities were different, my commitments were different, and my brain couldn’t even process real-time the way it used to. But I had a week to relax, and that is just what I did. Who knew how much of that I would be able to do from now on? It was a little shocking to realize. I couldn’t do what they were doing except this one week. For a moment there was panic. No one wants to feel like they’ve lost control of their own life or their own time. “Will I ever get it back!?!” Next came envy. “Why can’t I go out in the middle of the week?” Then, after the reality set in, there was a little bit of fear. “I have to go back next week!!!”

For a moment, I started to dread the inevitable. The break was going to end sooner or later and I would be back in that alternate universe that is medical school. And all too soon, that is exactly where I was. But when I got back, the shock & awe had subsided. It was like I never left and I realized it was exactly where I wanted to be. It is who I am right now. I am a med school student. I work hard, I study hard, I stress out a little bit, and then I rest hard. There’s really nothing else that I would rather be doing (except fast-forwarding to actually being a doctor, maybe.) So when Christmas break rolled around I was more than ready. I took a little time off to visit my old universe, got a lot of sleep, then it was back to business as usual.

Med School Kwanzaa

SWAISHA: …And So I Moved In

Can I just tell you that Emory is awesome!?! Okay, now that that’s done, I want to introduce myself.

Hello, I’m Swaisha D. Fields, first-year medical student. Although I may seem a little more enthusiastic (on paper) than the average first-year, 3 months in, it is genuine enthusiasm and boy do I have my reasons for it. Before I go into those reasons, let’s get to know me a little, shall we? I was born and raised in Youngstown, OH. If you’ve ever been there before you’ve probably already formed an opinion of me (just kidding), but for those of you who’ve never heard of it, you’re not alone and you’re not missing ANYTHING. I studied at The Ohio State University for two years, before I transferred to Georgia State University where I received my B.S. in Biological Sciences back in 2003 (please, don’t do the math). Since then, I’ve been majoring in minors, and minoring in majors, pretty much up until last year when I decided to take a serious crack at applying to medical school. This wasn’t something I just came up with out of nowhere, but my confidence had taken a hit or two in my educational career up to that point so I was too unsure of myself to apply before. This brings me squarely to reason #1…

When I decided to apply to medical school (this time), my strategy was to try schools that I thought I might have a solid chance of getting accepted to, and to apply at Emory because it was here in Atlanta, where I was already living. I wasn’t sure I’d get accepted anywhere, to be honest, but it was time to find out. Although I was slowly piecing my confidence back together, I didn’t believe I had a serious chance to get into Emory SOM at all. I’d heard some pretty stellar things about the university as a whole, and never considered myself competitive enough for their MD program. So, imagine my surprise when I got a phone call on February 26th with an invitation to interview on the very last interview day, February 29th…a day that only exists once every four years, if you really think about it. With such short notice and so late in the interview season, I felt like a second round draft pick (NBA not NFL). To me it felt like, maybe someone had cancelled and they wanted to fill the spot with someone who lived close enough to get here on short notice. I felt like I had been given a great chance, and I had nothing to lose. I didn’t feel like my interviews went that well, but it was the “funnest” interview day that I’d had. I may have fallen in love that day. It was still like a pleasant dream and not something I thought was going to happen for me. I remember telling my mother all about the school, and the campus, and of course the wonderful new building and new curriculum. After that day, I didn’t give it much thought. I had two more interviews crammed into the next week, the last week of interview season for two other schools, so I put it out of my mind and kept on interviewing. Six days later, I got the good news! It was unreal! Just when I was preparing myself for that horrible waiting period between when all the interviews were done and the final decisions were made, my wait was over. I went from worrying that I wouldn’t get in anywhere to being accepted at the best school on my list. So yes, I am super excited to be here!

I am also super excited about how my time here has gone so far. So I don’t really need to go into detail about how long I was out of school, or what I was doing, but let’s just say I was very nervous to dive back into the life of a full-time student. Up until now, there hasn’t been a time where I’ve been unemployed for more than a couple of months since 11th grade. I really couldn’t wrap my brain around how hard med school would be, or how I would handle it. Fortunately, these people know what they are doing. The faculty and staff do a really good job at putting together a class, and they put together an awesome curriculum. I’ve been able to ease into student life without any hiccups. I’m hanging in there right now, and it is hard, but I lean on my classmates, and they let me. I now live in an alternate universe where I often forget how old I am (no math here either ladies & gentleman), I work harder and play harder than I ever have, and I spend more time in the med school building than I do at home…and so I moved in! =)